to my beautiful son, i leave this picture of a sweet dragon i found on google images when i typed in cool dragons
Life hack: if someone makes a racist/sexist joke, say, with total seriousness, “I don’t get it, can you explain it”
Then watch them crash and burn
TODAY IN CLASS THIS CHICK WAS PASSING OUT A PACKET AND SHE JUST THREW MINE AT ME AND I SAID “Yo don’t fuckin throw that shit at me like I’m a stripper.” AND EVERYONE AROUND ME JUST STARED AT ME AND I REALIZED THAT ITS BC THATS THE FIRST THING IVE SAID IN CLASS SINCE I CAME TO THIS SCHOOL AND JFC
hey sheldon, what’s up?
the ceiling, of course
[extensively long laugh track, continuing on for minutes, breaking on hours. audience members are slowly dying of laughter, unable to stop. the actors want to cry out in grief for them to stop, but they are on set. it is a massive tragedy]